Change is faced by all of us on a regular basis. Accepting and coping with change is another matter. It could be the passing of a loved one, redundancy from a job, a relationship break up etc.
Sometimes, you won’t see it coming, and there’s often very little you can do about those events to prepare, except to accept them.
What about the ones you do see coming? Like those times when you say to people “I knew that was going to happen”.
Things may be going really well in your life and you might be in a position where you don’t want anything to change. That is exactly the time when things are most likely to change. Will you be ready in coping with change that is unexpected?
You might hate your life and want things to desperately change. That is when things are more likely to say the same.
The dogmas of the quiet past are inadequate to the stormy present. The occasion is piled high with difficulty, and we must rise with the occasion. As our case is new, so we must think anew and act anew.
– Abraham Lincoln
Coping with change
Let me start by saying that uncertainty is a good thing! If you were certain about everything all of the time life would bore the pants off you. Change is something that is happening all the time anyway so it’s worth taking the time to step back and acknowledge that where you are right now maybe great, but it is impermanent.
Become a student of change. It is the only thing that will remain constant.
– Anthony J. D’Angelo
You can’t possibly expect yourself to pre-empt every small or big event. But by developing an acquiescent attitude it makes that coping with that change easier. In addition to that, it’s wise to start thinking about what you would do should things take a turn for the worse. I don’t think of that as gloomy fortune telling but rather knowing in real life that shit does happen.
If you were to ever step into a corporate office you would know that there is something called ‘Change Control’. It’s a stringent process that is followed because any big changes are made to say, for example, the corporate IT network. It’s perfect for the ANAL-ysts of the world. It basically is a safeguard against any unwelcome surprises like finding your servers switched off one day.
Processes like that are perfect if you are planning to make big changes.It allows you to get to grips with possible outcomes and then plan ahead for them. Even if you don’t know a big change is coming there will often be signals and if you learn to spot them, then the more time you have to prepare.
The key to coping with change
That is the key. When you have even a small inkling that things may be shifting it’s time to start getting ready for them. Lets say you were facing the possibility of being made redundant at work. Even if you love your job and don’t want to leave why not start applying for new jobs while you still have one or even look into alternative or additional forms of income.
In my experience, people can spot desperation a mile off. If you’re in a desperate situation and come across that way it puts you in a lesser light to someone who has options and has more of an aloof attitude. Besides, what position would you rather be in? Would you rather have options or be totally at the mercy of whatever comes to you?
In the grander scheme of things change is automatic. I got asked in an interview recently if there is anything I would change about the world and my answer was no, because change is always occurring. Instead, I would continue to adapt myself in response to the changing world. I believe world will automatically transform as I do.
Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for. We are the change that we seek.
– Barack Obama
Take for example Facebook and Twitter. They totally re-wrote the books on social networking and the others had to change or fall by the wayside. Those tools aren’t essential to the survival of mankind…well actually I do know one or two people to whom their loss would mean the end of the world, but in reality they don’t have an impact on our survival. Their only purpose is to enrich our experience.
Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
– Author Unknown
Remember all the good things that can come from change too. You might gain new skills, meet new people, you may earn more money, or you may even end up finding a door way to the dream job you always wanted. I can’t even begin to count the number of times someone has said to me: “It was the best thing to happen to me!” It might be the same for you!
The only reason we resist it is because of fear. That fear comes from ideas we build in the mind based on loose experiences we’ve had or heard about. Once you can let those go you open yourself up to a whole new world of possibilities. So remember these points when your life begins to shift.
1. Change is inevitable so make your attitude flexible
2. When you see the signs of change deal it a counter blow
3. Change can be good or bad depending on how you decide to deal with it.
Fear is the greatest impediment to change.
– Dr Spencer Johnson
Also check out http://au.reachout.com/7-tips-for-dealing-with-change
Is there anything else that has helped you in coping with change? What have you done to prepare for change?