Cherish Your Ego And Pride. They Are Not Your Enemies

I owe a lot to my ego and pride. Some say that on a spiritual path one should become free of these traits. I have no plans on living on a mountain somewhere surrounded by nature so I don’t see the point.

While I’ve chosen to live this kind of life, my ego and pride are assets.

Were it not for them, I would’ve given up on life a long time ago as any number of the tough situations I’ve faced in life, had the potential of knocking me on my ass for good.

Why?

Simple; my pride didn’t allow me to quit. The thought of telling people I’d given up or, even admitting to myself that I’d quit kept me going. The shame had power!

The shame and pride kept me going more than anything else, especially in those times of desperation. I believe that often it’s the only thing we have during those moments; it’s the easiest feeling to reach for.

I’ve heard religious monks and scholars talk about the need to let go of pride and ego but not everyone needs to live by that edict.

Sure, if you want to become one with nature and be away from materialistic things then go ahead, take the path of becoming ego free.

However, if your path is one where you want a business, money, the means to travel then I very much doubt you’ll get anywhere without your pride and ego.

The Ego Scale

Pride and ego are quintessential to success. I don’t think you will get to be successful and achieve your goals unless your ego and pride are in the right place.

Imagine a scale, to the left side is absolute arrogance, on the right is absolute insecurity. The middle represents being ego free.

I’ve discovered that in order to succeed, to be a winner, there is a very specific place on the scale that you need to be at.

That place is not in the middle, but about about a third of the way towards the arrogance side of the scale.

By aiming for that side you won’t become an egoistic maniac, in fact, you’ll have the perfect temperament to succeed. The desire to succeed and win is born of ego and to make sure it happens you need the power of your pride

The Pride Point

I call that specific point on the scale the pride point. It’s where I haven’t quite hit arrogance yet I’m feeling confident enough to let people know I’m feeling confident.

If I want to win at playing poker, I need to be at that specific point on the scale. If I end up feeling too arrogant and believing blindly that I’m going to win the hand, more often than not, I’ll get trumped.

If I want to win at playing badminton, I need to be at that point on the scale, if I end up feeling inadequate just because I’m playing better players, my level drops and I always lose.

It’s actually an amazing feeling when you hit the right point on the scale. You almost begin to feel unstoppable yet you know you could get beaten. I’ve experienced that feeling lots of times when I’ve played poker with my friends and when I’m in that zone, I always win.

When I’m in that place, I still feel vulnerable to defeat, yet I’m not concerned by it. I know I could lose the hand but I’m certain that by taking the risk, I’m doing absolutely the right thing.

Your don’t need to relinquish your ego. It’s there to prevent you from giving up. It’s there to help you win and succeed in all the pursuits you do.

31 Responses

  1. Amie Sugat says:

    WOW LOVE THIS. one of my ex-boyfriends dumped me because he said my ego was too big for a relationship. my next ex said I was to insecure. I cant help but wonder now, where they talking about me or themselves?

    the ego IS important. it allows us to feel accomplished and have self esteem, that is a sense of self worth. which provides us with the fuel to be better than we were.

    having too much ego is trying to out compete the people around you saying I am better than them, a perfect ego competes with the self, saying I know I will do better. a lack of ego doesnt care either way and has no will to move on. a poor ego thinks everything is impossible.

    • Amit Sodha says:

      Hey Amie, finding the right balance isn’t as difficult as most people think but you are right, sway to far on one end of the scale or the other and you will either end up hurting people or end up getting hurt.

      As far as your first question goes, they were definitely talking about themselves! πŸ™‚

  2. inspired female says:

    Hey! what an interesting article, i always thought that having an ego was a bad thing as in I dont want to be seen as too proud and arrogant, but it can actually be there to serve you to greater heights! i like how you’ve paired ego and pride up together in a good way and they arent there to be avoided! wow! how cool! πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ its nice how it can all be balanced to serve you in a good way!

    • Amit Sodha says:

      Hey R, Definitely it can be your servant if you wish, the question always is; is it in control of you, or are you in control of it? So long as you are in control of it, it’s not even remotely a bad thing! πŸ™‚

  3. milan bakrania says:

    I think ego, pride and all the other human traits are acceptable as long as they are not used to harm yourself or another. It’s all about the balance. Many people have achieved great things because of ego or ‘the persistence of an idea’. I think a certain stubborness is required to attain a goal. Great article bro!

    • Amit Sodha says:

      Well said Milan as all of those traits serve their purpose so long as you allow to see the benefit in having and possessing them. πŸ™‚ Hows the art coming along?

      • milan bakrania says:

        Hey bro, the art is going well thanks. Working on a new collection. Will be on the website very soon. Also book is nearly done as well. How are things with you?…..

  4. Grace says:

    Wise men and women are aware of the obstacles and challenges that stand between them and achievement of their goals and achievements. Pride and ego can blind people and often makes them guilty of unwise choices and rash decisions that they may later come to regret. Pride can cloud judgment and cause emotional stupidity. The only thing worse than wounded pride is taking action based on the state of mind that it creates. Many leaders have severely limited their ability to lead because of pride and ego. An out of control ego can become so over inflated that it can come crashing down like a house of cards if left untended.

    • Amit Sodha says:

      Interesting thoughts Grace,

      Firstly thanks for commenting. I agree, if left unchecked, it can hit the opposite end of the scale and have adverse effects. On the flip side, too much humility is also not good. There is a better spot to be in I feel.

  5. J.D. Meier says:

    It’s a great example how balance is the key.

    One of the keys to being effective always seems to be about perspective. If you can keep perspective, focus on the right things, and know what you want to achieve, all the stuff in the middle seems to work itself out.

    • Amit Sodha says:

      Hey JD,

      Indeed, finding that right balance is essential, as I just mentioned to the commenter above…if you go too far on the scale on either side, that’s when you start to lose the plot.

  6. I have to disagree on the ego part – Self confidence is essential and most people mix that up with ego, but that’s not the case.
    If you ego is to big you crush many of your opportunities on your way.

    • Amit Sodha says:

      Hey Mads, That’s exactly why I said that there is a place on that scale which is perfect succeed too much arrogance will inevitably be your own undoing.

  7. Very good article. The Ego scale made me smile. Nice touch! Cool site!

    Mr MakingUsmile

  8. Big T says:

    I enjoy your blogs and uplifting spirit. However, I have to disagree with you on the idea that Ego and Pride are necessary to success. I believe that pride/ego are the negitive aspects to the positive side of the coin, which is CONFIDENCE/SELF-ESTEEM.

    • Amit Sodha says:

      Hey Big T,

      Thanks for sharing your thoughts, I don’t however share you few point. You believe that negative is bad and positive is good. I don’t. I believe they are opposite forces but what makes things bad or good are our definition of them.

      Something which may seem positive to you, could equally be something negative to someone else. We, as human beings, assign meaning based on our values.

      You cannot have a world which is only positive, or a world which is only negative. Both are needed in the equation to make up the whole sum. They are both required in a universe made of relativity.

  9. Big T says:

    I understand your point of view and agree that there is a fine ballance to keeping a strong mentality. While it’s important to be humble, you have to be confident in your abilities or people would walk all over you. Where you and I most likely disagree is on what you call the “Pride Point.” Thearetically, this makes sense but people, in my belief, are naturally selfish and self-seeking. While this is not always a negitive thing, why play with fire? Be sure of yourself and confident in your abiltiesÒ€¦.The only person you have to prove anything to is to yourself. Ive had this very conversation with a roomate but in the end, it’s all semantics.

  1. October 25, 2011

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  2. October 25, 2011

    Hot off the blogpress: Cherish Your Ego And Pride. They Are Not Your Enemies http://t.co/Kv01qXGO tweet or stumble! πŸ™‚

  3. October 26, 2011

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  4. November 1, 2011

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