The Concept Of Bravery

Editors Note: This is a fantastic guest post by Hiten Vyas.

Now I know you’ve probably seen a movie where someone was brave.

What is it about a brave character that we love? Well, we love the brave hero who saves the princess. We love the brave heroine who protects her children from danger.

But what we really admire about the brave character is his/her ability to do the impossible against all odds.

I always wanted to be brave, and thought I couldn’t until I got into self-development.
Maybe what you want to do, requires you to push yourself in ways you never imagined, until now.

Bravery is about acknowledging your current situation and what ideas and beliefs you have held onto, and telling yourself, it stops now.

You see, there is always now. It doesn’t matter what background you come from. It doesn’t matter that you are lacking confidence, or are experiencing anxiety, or whatever issue you are facing at the moment.

Bravery is about facing all of this, and deciding to do something else.

Why you already have the seeds of bravery in you

Bravery is not exclusively for the stars in movies.

It is a characteristic that you have this moment if you wish. By just having a vision for your life and what you want to achieve, is the start you need for your bravery to manifest.

A number of things are needed that lead to bravery. You want to do something, but it is scary.
You then decide to do something, but it’s still risky. However, your desire to want to do so continues to increase. You want it badly.

Then you become brave and do what needs to be done.

You see all that needed to happen before the bravery? Do you realise all the unsavoury things you felt and experienced were actually required, in order for you to demonstrate your bravery?

Some type of pain is needed in order for bravery to arise. Bravery cannot exist without pain.

The steps leading to bravery

Let’s now go through the specific steps involved that lead to bravery and I will share tips on how you can approach and deal with each one.

Step 1: Current situation

At this point you’ve just noticed that something isn’t quite right with your world. Usually it means you’re experiencing some kind of pain. Current suffering isn’t to be resisted. It needn’t make you frustrated.

It is a sign of where you with a current aspect in your life. It is all it is. There is no need to give it anymore power or meaning than that. To do so, just creates a barrier for you to take action.

Step 2: You want to do something but it seems scary

The key word here is it seems. There is a lot of difference between you doing something in real life, to your thoughts and imaginations about the activity you want to carry out.

Chances are at this stage, you might be feeling anxious about taking the action you want to. This too isn’t to be opposed.

Step 3: Channelling the pain to take action

What you experience now can be used as momentum or a catapult to take action. I know this part is difficult.

You might be having worrying thoughts about how you can’t do it. You may be telling yourself all of the reasons why “it just isn’t me”.

Let me tell you one thing from direct experience. One of the greatest things I’ve ever done is to learn to ignore my mind!

Our minds are usually programmed to turn away from what we want to do and come up with excuses as to why we “can’t do it” and why we “shouldn’t do it”.

As you now understand this is what will happen on your road to bravery, you can use it as springboard tool to take the action you want.

Step 4: Access and use a state that will help you

I love creating new states that can help us achieve what we want. That’s why I’ve included this step here. Here you can actually make use of previous times when you did something brave to help.
When did you last do something brave?

It doesn’t have to be something major. If it was a recent event, then fine. However, it needn’t have to be. It can be from a long while back as well.

Perhaps you bravely expressed your view in a meeting at work once, and you knew this was a brave act on your part.

The purpose of doing this is to get your mind-body connected with a time when you were previously brave, so you can appreciate that you were brave once and can be so again.

And if you can’t remember a time when you were brave, then imagine what it would be like vividly if you were!

Step 5: Take action

Here is the point where you just take action. You do what you need to.

You become the brave lion or lioness.

You become the brave movie star.

You do these things in your own way. For instance:

You speak up first in that meeting.

You ask that girl out on a date.

You make that cold call.

You go for your dream job.

You get married.

You do whatever your own unique activity to you is.

And Lastly

The world wants you to be brave.

We want you to be brave.

We want to see you succeed.

We want you to inspire. Because when you become brave and succeed, you inspire us to do the same.

Hiten Vyas is a personal development coach from the UK. He is passionate about helping people increase their confidence and reduce their anxiety. You can find out more about him at his website: https://www.hitenvyas.com

Photo Credit: Taberandrew

50 Responses

  1. Hiten says:

    Hi Amit,

    I just wanted to say a big thank you for accepting and publishing my guest post.

    I feel honoured and am thrilled to be at your fantastic blog, Unlimited Choice. 🙂

    • Amit Sodha says:

      Hey Hiten,

      It was my absolute pleasure buddy. It’s a fascinating topic, that of bravery and overcoming fear. We talk ourselves out of doing those things that take bravery but if you can engage in action before that self talk takes over, then you’ve learned what it means to be brave.

      Awesome having you on board! 🙂

      • Hiten says:

        Thanks for making me feel so welcome Amit. 🙂

        Indeed, you mentioned a very important point. When we are ready to carry out an act of bravery, the longer we leave it, the more time for the negative self-talk to kick in and try and hold us back.

        As you say, it is far better to do what needs to be done before there is any chance to talk ourselves out of it.

  2. TJ says:

    Thanks for your ideas!

    There are decision points in our lives that call for us to be brave. However, as you nicely discuss in your post, being brave is more that a decision, but requires action as well.

    Indeed, the world needs brave people.

    TJ

    • Hiten says:

      Hi TJ,

      Absolutely, all of us in our lives will face times when we will need to be brave.

      It is by being brave and taking action that we give ourselves an opportunity to grow as people.

      We can certainly think ourselves as being brave. It is only by doing we make such thoughts real for ourselves.

      Thank you for commenting TJ. It’s really nice to meet you. 🙂

  3. Fantastic post Hiten. I believe everyone is brave at birth but conditioning and belief systems mould the child to supress their innate courage. A little self confidence and support at any age will bring it all right back…and then practice makes perfect. It was a pleasure to read your article. Insightful : )

    • Hiten says:

      Hi Milan,

      Yes, exactly! We come into this world with all the potential in the world.

      However, unfortunately as a child grows that’s when the social conditioning kicks in. Beliefs of adults who supposedly know better are taken on, as are views of other people. Education systems and the media further condition the young person. It never ceases to amaze me, how many potential problems a young child has in front of him/her.

      Those who have become wise to the reality occurring within them, and that happening around them, are in a great position to provide the support that young people, and indeed as you say, a person at any age may need to increase their self confidence.

      I’m really glad you like the post.

      Thank you very much Milan for your great contributions to this post! 🙂

  4. saky says:

    great post ,i really like it .Bravery is to show how much u care about people not only the one you love but everybody that need help .i m also happy to share with you some articles about this subject
    here is the link
    http://www.flowmagazine.gr/article/view/giati_h_thetikh_skepsh_allazei_tis_zwes_twn_anthrwpwn/category/personal_development

    • Hiten says:

      Hi saky,

      Thank you so much for your comment!

      Indeed you are right! We can carry out brave actions to support and help those closest to us, and come to the aid of those others in need of support.

      Thanks for sharing the article! I loved the point the author made about making a list at the end of the day, of 3 things that happened during the day, for which we are grateful. This can really can blow ‘perceived problems’ into pieces.

      It’s great to meet you saky! 🙂

  5. Tom B says:

    i want to teach my kids to be brave!

  6. Lyka Ricks says:

    This is a wonderful run of Bravery! Bravery is different in every platforms. Thank you for sharing this, I want to be braver!

  7. Vidya Sury says:

    Hi Hiten. Good to come by here and meet Amit also.

    You are right about bravery being in all of us – a prime example I can think of is a seemingly timid woman becoming a lioness (or tigress if you prefer) when she has to defend her child. It comes instinctively. And sometimes, after the event, she finds it hard to believe that it was she who showed that “power”. This in turn builds her confidence and she begins to speak up more often.

    Often, I feel that we need to care enough to be brave enough. What do you think? Quite like going after what we want: our efforts are directly proportional to the degree of our desire. 😀

    • Amit Sodha says:

      Hi vidya, Also a pleasure to meet you too. That’s an excellent story and in fact I was relaying similar information to a coaching client recently, that we’re much braver when protecting others than we are ourselves.

      Thank you so much for the comment! 🙂

  8. Justin Mazza says:

    Hi Amit & Hiten,
    Love the feelings and emotions that come with being brave. The sad truth is that the feelings/emotions are exactly what prevent people from becoming brave in the first place.

    99% of the times the things we fear are not even real, but they sure feel like it. 😉 I enjoyed your perspective on being brave!

    • Amit Sodha says:

      Hey Justin, Thanks so much for the comment, I agree with you, it’s goes full circle to the point about facing those fears, something I try to do. I used to be very clustrophobic and then I faced those fears and I no longer am. 🙂

  9. Emily says:

    It is also important not to become bitter when people around us behave in cowardly ways. Bravery is not common, especially when people are ‘net working’ and trying to ‘get ahead’. Often people turn a blind eye to cruelty and even join in and redefine cruelty (saying someone is ‘strong’ when they are mean). They redefine xcruelty so they don’t have to feel guilty about not being brave and standing up to the cruel person. Also remember to consider the situation. You don’t have to always stick your neck out either when it comes to being brave on behalf of another. I’ve stood up for people who were being picked on and the people I helped began picking on me; they didn’t respect me and saw me as weak for helping them. Some people are like this; they look up to the bully (identifying with the aggressor) and have disdain for the person who helps them. What surprised me was that I assumed that the person who was being picked on was a good person and I assumed they would be happy to be helped, not always so. Do what is right but don’t expect friendship from the person you help and don’t expect them to help you if you’re in trouble. Some people will take all their resentment and anger at getting picked on and dump it on you because you’re a safe target, someone who won’t pick on them. Sometimes you help someone who is a coward and they release their anger on you because they think you won’t stand up to them because you defended them. Of course, stand up for your family and friends and loved ones and stand up if you see injustice (in a way that is comfortable for you; even a look, rolling your eyes or speaking up). Many people will be thankful if you speak up for them but don’t rub it in that you helped them so they don’t lose face where you label them as weak and pathetic. In movies, the victim is faceless; it is all about the hero.

    Rescuers often forget about themselves. Manipulators will get you to fight all their battles so be discerning. Courage also means standing up for yourself and reaching your dreams and learning something new and walking away from a bad situation.

  10. farouk says:

    that’s an inspiring post
    from my point of view, courage is the most important trait people should have.

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