How To Bounce Back When Life Bitch-Slaps You (Several Times!)

I’m going to come right out and say it that 2010 has been probably the most challenging year of my life.

Despite everything I’ve still somehow managed to bounce back. Even though this article is a ‘how to’ there is no magic pill to bounce back other than to just get up and try again.

It started when my mum became sick in India after being taken ill. It took a huge amount of resources and over a month to repatriate her. As soon as I got news of her illness I flew straight out and went to look after her. The experience of being in a strange country without any support was incredibly stressful.

After returning I spoke to my doctors to find out that I’d have to make a life altering decision about my own health

Next, I got made redundant from my job.

Then, just a few weeks ago, I had the biggest setback to the launch of my media career which really knocked me for six.

Finally, just last week, I injured my back and I suffered, what I believe to be, a double slipped disc. I have slipped a disc before and had sciatica as a result but this was much worse than anything I have ever experienced.

Anyone who’s had it before will know that it is one of the most painful, non lethal, injuries that you can have. I’ve heard that people who have this condition often have to go on Morphine to control the pain. I chose to avoid any form of pain control.

It’s been 8 days and today is the first day I can finally sit up for short periods and now walk. I can’t even to begin to describe the elation I felt this morning when I knew that I could stand up without being in agony.

I feel like I’m kind of gloating about these challenges, and in a way I am. These events have all defined who I am and contributed to who I choose to be. The intense life experiences have built my character and have added to my references.

I hope in some way they let people know I’m not just a a faker. I’ve been through some rough times and I’ve pulled through using every piece of knowledge and advice I’ve dished out to others. My life is a Petri dish of my knowledge.

During the phases where I was feeling down, or angry, or annoyed at all these events I opened up to people. I used to bottle all these things up but then I realised that was ultimately the worst thing anyone can do.

By talking to people about these events I learned a lot. I learned who the coaches are that have no idea and cannot tell the difference between people who genuinely need help and those who simply need to vent. By seeing that in others it opened my eyes to it too; to recognise the difference.

There are very few people out there who genuinely stop to listen. Most are over eager in offering suggestions of advice and help; and to those who just need to vent, there is nothing more frustrating! Those offers of help did nothing to help me bounce back.

Then there are also those who come out with pathetic statements like “you’ve attracted those experiences”…no shit Sherlock! That is the equivalent of saying “oh look, you have a face”.

The reason I’m covering this ground is a plea to coaches and those advice givers…really learn to listen to your subject. Before you jump in there with stupid remarks, how about asking some questions to find out more.

As I mentioned at the beginning there is no magic pill or cure to help you bounce back when bad stuff happens. It is just a choice, pure and simple. You can choose to stay down for the count or to get back up and take as many blows to the chin as it takes to succeed.

If you fall down twice, stand-up three times. Keep the kind of friends that remind you of that. Don’t waste time with friends who would let you stay down. They aren’t your friends.

40 Responses

  1. Amit,
    I’m so sorry to hear about what a difficult year it’s been for you. I hope your mother is doing better now? I’m also so sorry about your job and slipped disc and sciatica. You poor guy! I’m happy to hear that you’re feeling better though and can stand up.

    You know – if you can get through all of this then know that there’s no where to go but up from here. Give yourself credit for getting through it all and believe that now things are going to get better and they will!

    • Amit Sodha says:

      Hey Ang, thanks so much for your comment and for sharing that your story of challenges too. It’s a rare thing for people like us to be honest about the challenges we face to but I genuinely feel that sometimes people need to hear those stories…they need to know that life isn’t always a bed of roses for us and that we face challenges just like anyone else.

      Thanks for sharing your journey with me too!

  2. Amit,

    You seemed to be going through a lot. *hug* Believe me, it may seems like you are alone but many of us are in journey of down and up with you.

    Misery seems to love company and comes together. Hang in there, once you have hit bottom, only place to go is up! best wishes and get well soon.

    Preeti

    • Amit Sodha says:

      Hey Preeti,

      Thank you for your kind words. Very rarely this year did I feel alone, it was just tough…people have been there for me to no end and it’s also at these times I learned a lot about my friends.

      You said it though, the only way now is up!

      🙂

  3. Harps says:

    Alfred Pennyworth: Took quite a fall, didn’t we, Master Bruce?
    Thomas Wayne: And why do we fall, Bruce? So we can learn to pick ourselves up.

  4. Hi Amit,

    You’ve got a difficult year. I’m glad you managed to cope with your problems. And I hope the next year will be much better! 😉

    Thanks for sharing your story!

  5. Thanks so much for your honesty and transparency Amit. I know what it’s like go through a time when everything negative seems to hit you at once. It sucks like hell! But like you said, we have choices. We can choose to get back on the horse when we fall off. Or we can stay down and feel sorry for ourselves. I’m wishing you relief, relief, relief.

    • Amit Sodha says:

      Thanks Nea for sharing. It’s never easy and the trouble is, for people like us, people expect us to be up and bouncing around all the time, but the truth is we face challenges just like anyone else.

      I appreciate your support though so thank you!!

  6. Lisa H. says:

    Wow! You sure have had a lot dealt to you this year. Thanks for posting about it. Your article is so timely for me. I too have been dealing with one set back after another. A lot of the year I felt like I was climbing up hill. But I must say, that sprinkled between each setback has been some incredible successes. I wouldn’t say that this has been my most challenging year ever, but it is definitely in a close second. Either way, I am looking forward to a fresh start, fresh goals and a fresh outlook for 1/1/2011.

    • Amit Sodha says:

      Hey Lisa,

      Thanks so much for commenting. I agree, it’s a great time of year because it’s natural to feel a sense of renewals, fresh starts and new chapters to open. I’m glad you told me about your challenges too, it’s so important that we support each other through our times of challenge and help each other with our growth.

      Thank you so much for stopping by!

  7. Amit: You definitely have had a tough year … but thanks you for using that challenge and inspiring us all. I thought this was a great post because you really allowed us to see you challenges up close and then showed us how we should really work through whatever comes our way. It all begins with perspective and ends with choice. You really do get to determine how you will see things and then you get to choose how and if you will manage through them. Your year and how you handled it really serves as a model for us all to follow because there are always going to be those challenges that come our way. Thanks for sharing and thanks for the wisdom.

  8. You inspire me, Amit!
    Thanks for sharing you challenges and experiences and the way you handled them. I wish you a wonderful 2011.

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  21. June 9, 2014

    […] months have not been particularly great for me. In fact, I’d go far as far as saying that the last 6 years have been exceptionally tough. It’s not been all bad all of the time, but some of the events which have occurred, beyond my […]

  22. June 9, 2014

    […] months have not been particularly great for me. In fact, I’d go far as far as saying that the last 6 years have been exceptionally tough. It’s not been all bad all of the time, but some of the events which have occurred, beyond my […]

  23. August 20, 2014

    […] not just been the past year; it’s the last 6 years. I wrote a while back about some of the things that I’d been through, but since then my mum passed away; my uncle […]

  24. August 20, 2014

    […] not just been the past year; it’s the last 6 years. I wrote a while back about some of the things that I’d been through, but since then my mum passed away; my uncle […]

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