There are a few things in life that give me that me that extra bounce in my step: A huge pay rise; when a stranger pays me a compliment; knowing I’ve just survived a drive-by shooting…you know, the usual kind of stuff.
There is one thing I love doing that gives me that extra bounce and that’s having a good flirting session with a beautiful woman. Flirting is good for the soul and I encourage more people to do it regardless of whether you have a girlfriend, boyfriend, spouse or even if you’ve just started dating.
To clarify, when I talk about flirting, I’m not talking about chatting up with the intention of getting laid of having sex, I’m just talking about having fun and creative banter with people.
I’ve been in relationships before and I’ve continued to flirt with women. My intention is not to necessarily ‘pull’ or get the girl but I know that women enjoy the flirting just as much as I do and it’s just good fun!
Insecurity & Jealousy
I’ve seen couples get jealous at one another for their spouse flirting. That’s never made sense to me. Jealously is nothing other than a sign of distrust and insecurity. If you’re with your partner then a core part of that relationship is trust. If you feel you can’t trust them then maybe that relationship isn’t for you?!
As for insecurity, that’s a personal issue that you will have to deal with on your own. There have been times when I’ve dated good looking women and other men will stare at or even chat up the woman I’m with. What do I have to worry about? As far as I’m concerned, absolutely nothing! She’s a grown woman and can make her own decisions about who she wants to be with. I am not her owner and she doesn’t belong to me. If she meets someone who she feels she is better suited to then more power to them both. It might be a tiny bit upsetting in the beginning but usually within 24hours I’m ready to put myself back out there and just carry on having fun!
For me, flirting and dating is all about having fun without the weight of any expectations of what it might lead to. It’s about being adventurous and having some playful banter. It’s about letting yourself go, telling stories, making other people laugh! It’s all about connecting with other people and maybe having some romance and intimacy!
If you’re the kind of guy who’s always been to shy to approach women then you need to alter your approach. From personal experience, I can say that the direct approach never works that well. A playful encounter is always the best way to go. I’ll talk more later about ways you can do that but if you’ve felt uncomfortable and nervous then there is one cure plain and simple; practice! The more you do it, the more you’ve overcome it!
(All of these can be applied to both men and women!)
1. The most important tip is don’t take it all too seriously! Don’t worry if you have the odd bad experience here or there. It’s happens. Just learn from it and move onto the next!
2. Girls love for the attention to be on them but it’s the way you do it. The best way is teasing them and playfully making fun of them. I call it being cheekily charming. Again, from my experience, I’ve never found a better way of sparking some chemistry with a woman!
3. Speed dating is a great way to practice your flirting! I’ve been twice now and I’ve always had a fantastic time and at worst case scenario just made some really cool friends. I went with some other guys who were good with women and I picked up some great techniques on keeping the conversation going and great conversation starters!
4. I’m not personally a fan of the direct approach whereby I go up to a woman and say “Hi, My name is Amit, what’s yours?” It’s never worked for me but I have seen other guys make it work for them. I think pick up lines are a better way to go so long as they’re not too cheesy or corny! The best approach by far though is either comment on something they’re wearing or doing, or, ask for a woman’s opinion on something!
5. If you approach the person while you’re nervous and sweaty, you’re going to feel self conscious about it! Try and give yourself a bit of composure time and then just go for it! Don’t wait too long though! I’ve done that on certain occasions and by the time I was ready they were already gone!
6. Learn to feel confident in walking away. What I mean is if the conversation isn’t going well, don’t worry! Just say “it’s been a pleasure” then walk away! It’s not always going to work out perfectly so don’t expect it to.
7. Meeting up at a coffee shop is a great way to kick off a first date! It’s a neutral place, there’s lots going on and you’re not spending too much money on a first date. It’s a great place to get to know each other and then start with the flirting! Toss in the odd innuendo, tease her, make fun of her, have a play fight, thumb wrestle, pretty much anything goes so long as you’re both having fun!
8. Friends make great flirting buddies! Flirt with your friends and get good by practising that way! Just by having fun other people get attracted to your company and want to be around you! Don’t play the part of the sad loser who has a miserable love life! Get over yourself and learn to have some fun!
9. Experiment with different approaches and see what works for you. I actually find approaching a group better and easier than approaching an individual as you can have fun as a group and you don’t get as many awkward silences. Even if you with just one person and you have that moment of silence…don’t feel awkward by it. Just let is pass naturally and you’ll both naturally find the next topic of conversation or something to break the ice again.
10. Don’t be afraid to make a fool out of yourself! I was out one night and there was this group of girls who were out on a hen night and they were all wearing bunny ears! I went up to them and asked on of them if I could try on the bunny ears. I looked like a total dork but it got them laughing and I had a great time!
If you want to take things to the next level and start dating then I recommend reading this.
I was walking to my car the other day and there was a really attractive woman walking in the same direction as me but she was ahead of me. I decided to pick up my pace to catch up to her. She was pulling along a huge empty suitcase and I decided that was going to be my way of breaking the ice. I pulled alongside her and I said “you got a dead body in there or something?” She laughed and smiled…I may later reveal one day what happened next! 😉