I came across something recently which I found both funny and a little bit disturbing too. Relationships are not easy. They take hard work to build, maintain and cultivate.
So when I see people trying to sell a scientific formula that’s worked for them, or try and say that they can help you find perfect friends and partners using formula’s and tests, I can’t help but chuckle. It’s nothing but nonsense, or non-science!
If you really dig deeper into the lives of the people who try and sell those products, you’ll often find a very different story to what they’re tying to sell.
If someone is trying to sell you a formula, before you buy it, find out how many times they’ve been divorced? How big is their circle of close friends? How long have they been friends?
How long was their longest relationship and why did it end? Do they have the kind of friends that would lay down their life for them or are they just the fair-weather variety?
There are some steps you can follow to make friends and possibly find a soul-mate, but there is definitely no formula, and absolutely no formula that anyone can sell you.
The closest thing you can get to a formula is following some simple guidelines to make connecting with people easier.
I say again, THERE IS NO MAGIC FORMULA! You just have to go out there an make things happen for you.
Just as there is no formula, sitting on your ass and wishing for the perfect partner to fall out of the sky is equally futile.
If you really want to meet your soul-mate, and make some amazing friends in the process, here’s a few suggestions that may help.
1. Practice! If you’re not confident and meeting people and taking things forward, then keep doing it until you get good. Any time you have to be around people is your opportunity to practise and get better.
2. Practise some more! Practise with your existing friends, family and colleagues and work on listening, contributing, paying attention to elicit things you may have in common.
3. Develop and refine your art of conversation. There are about a zillion ways to do that so I can’t possibly cover them all but a good conversation is like an engine, once it’s started, it just keeps running.
4. PRACTISE SOME MORE – getting comfortable with people and being comfortable in your own skin is something that will just come over time. Also, go on practise dates with friends and do what you would do in the real life situation.
5. Become amazing! There are a million ways to do this too. Developing a fun hobby and becoming an interesting person will naturally make people inquisitive about you. If you’re a traveller, photographer, or you just have an unusual job, it will automatically fire up the conversation, it’s just up to you to keep it going.
6. Start socialising. Don’t make excuses to avoid social events just because you don’t want to go alone. I love going to networking events by myself because I’m not held back by anyone or anything. I have all the time in the world to join in conversations, or start new ones.
7. LOVE YOU! If it’s love you want and a soul-mate, don’t be afraid of that notion. Be clear about who you are and what you want. When you’re looking for that special someone, you will find each other when you’re not ashamed of who you are. They will find you when you’re very clear about who you are and are not afraid to show it.
Remeber: There is no formula or magic secret anyone can sell you; that’s all just non-science! There are so many ways to meet people and so many different ways to cultivate the relationships you make. The biggest key in all of this is just put yourself out there. Don’t hide yourself away from the world. Allow people to discover more about the amazing person that you are! 😀