It Wasn’t Meant To Be
‘It wasn’t meant to be’ is the most soul destroying statement I have ever heard! I hear this statement from people over and over again and they often use it with regards to any situation that has not gone the way they had planned or hoped. They put it down to some superior force controlling their lives not allowing them to experience themselves as the glorious creators that they are.
Someone said this to me recently regarding a relationship, another friend used this statement when they didn’t get the job that they really wanted.
The truth is, the statement itself is absolutely true, but the way in which it is used to determine future events is disturbing. The way I think about it is; only past events are destiny, everything present and future is my choice and creation. The trouble begins when people start using that statement before and event has even happened. The problem is to continue using that statement is a submission that everything is out of our control when, in fact, we have control over our actions at every given moment. We also have the power to create our realities as we choose, we have influence over matter and energy and it is that influence that creates.
Every PRESENT moment represents and infinite number of possibilities. We use our power of choice to determine which of those possibilities we opt for. If I see the woman of my dreams walking by me on the street, I have a choice, I can either walk over to her and say hello or I can just let her walk by without taking any action. Now of course, there is a good chance that she may think I’m a complete weirdo approaching her at random, but what the heck, I may never see her again, so I’ll take a shot at it and make the most of it, because it’s my attitude and my conviction that determines the flow of the situation.
The other issue with that kind of statement is that the underlying thought is that there is a Godly force of sorts that is sitting “up there” deciding what is best for me even if it’s something I don’t like. Can you see the trouble with the thought like that? If I go for a job interview, with the thought: “If it’s meant to be I’ll get this job, If I don’t get it, it just means that it wasn’t meant to be.” What’s wrong with that picture? Quite simply I won’t be getting that job because my heart is just not there with my head. Why should I even try and looking for a job at all, God is going to decide what’s best for me, so God will deliver to my door the job s/he intends for me?
If you ever catch yourself in the act, of having that thought, gently say to yourself: “Whatever has happened, is of my choosing. I have the power to choose and create my present and future as I wish it to be. Only past events were meant to be, but were so through my own volition. Each moment is a glorious opportunity to re-create my life as I choose it to be now!”
It’s always a choice, and I always say; The only way to know, is to try for yourself! 😉
Hi Amit,
I have a slightly different persepective. I do agree that if you use the statement before something has been given the energy and opportunity to manifest, it can be self-defeating (i.e. the “If it’s meant to be I’ll get this job, If I don’t get it, it just means that it wasn’t meant to be.” sort of thing).
However, it can be liberating if a person has spent a lot of time and enegy on something and it truly isn’t coming together or working for them. It allows a person to let go of a desire that may not have been right for them in the first place, and lets them look in a new direction without feeling guilty or like a “loser” or a “quitter.”
If something is truly not working for a person, it takes a certain amount of wisdom for them to realize that it “wasn’t meant to be,” that their energies are better spent elsewhere and their bliss is to be found on another path. 🙂
Hmmmm a very interesting way of looking at it Michelle. The reason I wrote this article specifically was the way that statement was said to me. It was said with a sense of hopelessness and defeatism than spurred this piece of writing.
I do understand what you mean though and I’m greatful for the alternate perspective on this topic. 🙂
Hi Amit,
As the I Ching often says (paraphrased): Timing is everything.
Two other things occured to me, too.
I can see someone making that statement as a defense mechanism in a case where others want something for a person, but the person him/herself didn’t really want it, gave it only a half-hearted attempt to satisfy the urging and wishes of others, but was secretly relieved when it didn’t work out. The person can’t be blamed because it was God who didn’t want it to work out that way.
The other thing is, I do think people are feeling hopeless these days, just in a general way, because they are very stressed. “Let go and let God” has become a very, Very popular phrase…I see it all over the internet. I believe it was originally meant to suggest that people let go of whatever they were struggling with and let their higher power guide them. Unfortunately, it’s become a mantra for not taking responsibility. (Sadly, it sounds as if that is what you are hearing.)
Those are some very good points, especially the second one. I see examples of the hopelessness again and again and it all comes down to the way people have conditioned themselves. And so, even a slight shift in thought patterns can make all the difference.
I was with a client yesterday evening coaching him. He has many questions going through his head: “Whats the point?”, “Why do I bother?”. I got him to change his questions and he noticed himself, without any prompting from me, how much of a difference it was making to the way he felt.
Depending on the context in which it is used, as you correctly pointed out, if it is used with a sense and a feeling of hopelessness then it will undoubtedly be damaging to ones spirit.
Thanks for all your input Michelle and the alternate perspectives! 🙂
Hey Michelle,
You bring some very interesting perspectives to the table. In regards to letting go of desire that isn’t working for someone, I believe all desires are fulfilled. There are no desires that are not ment to be, if you hold a desire it will manifest into your world. This is a Universal Law which works perfectly everytime, just like gravity.
The question is one of time and readiness. Your desire will not manifest in your life until it is the right time and you are ready for it. You may think your ready for it, but you will not realize that you aren’t ready until it does manifest and you look back.
In the fullness of time your desire will manifest, we just have to keep our eyes on the big picture. 😀
Hi Mital,
I suppose that if you keep going at it long enough, a desire will be fulfilled no matter what. I think, though, that sometimes the things we desire are not in harmony with the universe, they really are not meant to be, and that is when struggle appears. We might be better off looking in another direction and finding that harmony than spending a lifetime struggling to manifest one thing when the needs of the universe obviously call for something else.
For example, I would love to sing. I’m tone deaf…can’t reproduce sound properly. When I sing, I sound great in my head but absolutely ghastly to the ears of everyone within hearing distance! Now, I suppose I could have spent a ton of money on voice lessons and whatever, but would it have been worth it? I have to say “no” because I’ve discovered my bliss, my harmony with the universe, in other areas. If I had pursued singing, there was no guarantee I would have become a good singer, and I might have missed discovering my real joy and harmony.
While I do believe trying to fulfill desires is imporant and working toward them faithfully is good, I also believe we must harmonize with universal energies. Say, for example, you are the universe (which you are to all of the cells in your body). Each of your cells has a life that is in harmony with your whole being. What would happen if half of your heart cells desired to become liver cells because they were bombarded with the information that liver cells lived a much better life than all the other cells? Let’s say these heart cells work hard to become liver cells, which is out of harmony with the needs of the universe (your body) but it’s what they desire. The heart cells spend most of their lifetime struggling to become liver cells, and let’s say they actually get to be liver cells. Result: the heart is only half the size it needs to be to keep the universe (your body) alive, and the liver is way too big which is also unhealthy for the universe.
Perhaps it depends on the source of the desire. I think that a lot of people’s desires do not come from the heart. Instead of seeking their bliss, they seek fame, fortune, etc. That’s fine if that is where your bliss lies, but many people find themselves left physically exhausted and emotionally unsatisfied after a lifetime of struggle manifesting their desire. I will always maintain the idea that if you have to struggle, if what you are after or what you want to do drains you of energy instead of energizes you, you are on the wrong path and should pursue other desires. 🙂
I believe that the trouble is these days that very few people actually truly know what they want. When someone is clear about what they want and have nothing holding them back, then those desires manifest much easier. But when the glass is smeared or if there is uncertainty then that adds to the delay in manifesting those desires.
I the case of “it wasn’t meant to be” I see your point michelle than in some ways it can be a release to let those old desires go and form new ones. Maybe I should re-title this post to “maybe it isn’t meant to be” ? What do you both think? 🙂
I think you’re right in that a lot of people don’t know what they really want. There are so many distractions and avenues….hard to choose what you want, and something often comes along that looks better than what you’re doing or what you’ve got unless you are really following you bliss.
The title spoke to your original post & topic. I’m afraid I went off course…sorry.
Not at all, you did bring up some really good points and even changed my perception on the topic as a whole. 🙂