I used to be one who was all about the positive vibez, positive thoughts, and even worse, I used to dish it out on other people. Then I understood something even deeper, and even more significant, about the power of negativity; IT IS NECESSARY! It’s important to remember that, like anything else, negativity is relative and what may seem negative to some, may be something totally different to others.
When was the last time you came across someone who was, perhaps just having a bad day, or they were going through a bit of a bad patch, and they were being negative and having a bit of a rant? Was your first reaction to throw some positive spin on all their situations? Did you pay attention to how they reacted? Did it benefit them? Or did they go the opposite way, and the more you threw positivity at them, the more they became negative?
Just because someone is being negative it doesn’t mean that they need a dose of positivity. In fact that is sometimes the worst thing you can do. It will often do more damage, especially if they have a polar personality type. It may reinforce their own negativity and they may even search for more reasons to be negative.
What works better is being negative with them. Allow them to be negative and share in that space with them. If someone tells me they’re pissed off, and I’ve already ascertained that they react in a polar way, then I say to them ‘good, be pissed off, how dare those bastards!’ and watch as they automatically start to feel better. The is the power of negativity and the benefit it can have.
The Power Of Negativity As Motivation
In a previous post I talked about my experience when I went to inspire young people. I mentioned, at the end, about one of the students who was motivated by the criticism he received because it gave him even greater incentive to do better.
I’ve also been chastised in the past about many things, and more often than not, it’s served me in wonderful way in that it’s made me try harder and want to do better. In the past I’ve been out running and I’ve heard people shout from their cars ‘move that ass fat boy’ and when I hear that it doesn’t upset me. I actually laugh and it also makes me push myself that little bit harder; beyond my comfort zone.
When Others Try And Bring You Down
I was at a dinner party a while back and the friend who invited me over, like me, is a life coach. I was talking with one of her friends and I couldn’t get over how negative she was. I was telling her about what I do. People would describe me as a bubbly, positive person and she assumed that my life must be quite easy. It’s been anything but and all those negative experiences have contributed to who I’ve chosen to be now.
In her case she had taken all of her negative experiences and decided that, for her, life would always dump on her and she had to look out for herself. She’d decided that she needed to protect herself from more negative things happening. Rather than trying to escape negativity and challenges, I say, bring them on! They’ve shaped me into a better person and I will always be grateful for them.
Dealing With Your Own Negativity
Your own negativity is essential but don’t let it get the better of you. It will always be part of you but don’t let it overpower you. I’ve always believed that we are capable or good or evil but we are inherently neither. That is, and will always be, determined by the choices we make; moment to moment.
If you want more help dealing with your own negativity then I found this kick ass post by lifehacker on dealing with those pesky negative thoughts. Negativity isn’t a bad thing. It’s how you choose to respond to it that makes it what it is.
So what do you think about the power of negativity? Do you agree? Let me know in the comments below.