Rejections Suck – Or Are They Serving You?
Let me guess. You’ve been rejected. Yes, rejections suck!
It’s been many years since I started this blog which, so far, has over 600 articles.
It’s not all been smooth sailing but I’ve kept it going for the sheer love of blogging.
Just like anything I do in life, I do it because I enjoy doing it. a big part of doing what you love, is rejection.
Over the past two years I’ve been rejected more times than I can count. (Maybe that’s why I’ve been getting rejected; poor maths skills! 😆 )
I’ve been rejected for jobs, clients, auditions, guest posts, women…we won’t go too deep into that last one but the simple truth is, rejections suck!
When you get rejected it can feel like having your heart yanked out of your chest! (Kaali Ma…shakti deh!)
Rejections suck and the first is the worst
The first time you get rejected it will feel like the end of the world. You’ll want to give up and bury your head somewhere. No one could blame you. That feeling is awful! You’d be an idiot to want to go through that again, right?
Well, no! The same reason for not going through it again is exactly the reason you should. Yes, you could well be rejected again and it will still hurt but, it’ll hurt a little less. The next time after that it will hurt a little less too.
It’ll hurt less and each time you get rejected and the chances of getting rejected again reduces ever so slightly.
I call that the law of diminishing rejections. It also means that each time you are rejected you increase your chance of success.
Remember: The next time could always be YOUR time. If you don’t take that step, you’ll live your life never knowing what might have been.
Here’s a thought I want you to recap the next time you get rejected:
Rejection is preparation
Every time you’re rejected it will prepare you better for the next time. Firstly, You won’t fear the rejection as much so you’ll feel more relaxed and your performance will be proportionately better.
Secondly, the natural reaction to rejection is evaluation. Once you’ve been rejected your natural instinct will be to question why. The result will be that you’ll probably go away and make some changes to hopefully be better the next time.
If you get rejected for a job, make sure you get feedback and find out why you got rejected. The same principle applies if you get rejected for a guest post, an audition, or a sales pitch.
Even if you don’t get any feedback, the sheer act of persistence will make you a better person. The fact you go back regardless of setbacks puts you in a league of your own. It’s takes a special kind of person to return once they’ve been rejected.
There are many stories of rejection. The story of Colonel Sanders and his 1008 rejections until he got his first ‘yes’! Writer Seth Godin got 900 rejection letters in one year.
Many people who are well known today received several rejections before they finally made it big. There’s even a book called Rotten Rejections full of rejections that writers, who are now famous or who wrote classics, received.
Keep your eye on the prize
Yes, rejections suck at the time but you MUST keep one eye on your ultimate outcome.
If you still feel a bit down I want you to remember the kind of satisfaction you will feel when you get that first yes. It will be the sweetest feeling that can you possibly imagine. The ultimate prize will be success but that feeling will be like an early Christmas bonus.
And also remember: For all those naysayers who thought you would never get there. Those are often friends, family, or just haters, the best revenge is never giving up and ultimately your success. Rejections suck, but the success will more than make up for it.
Hi Amit. I think one of the most valuable lessons we can learn from rejection is detachment. If we take this lesson rather than allowing the rejection to make us feel like losers, we learn to let go of our need to have others think, decide or act in a way that pleases us. What a marvelous lesson that is!
Absolutely Nea and spoken like a true wise soul! 🙂
Persistence is the key. I remember when I first started out on my writing career. Rejections were all too common, they still are! But persistence and a strong belief in my work kept/keep me afloat. It did hurt, it was just like you describe, my heart was ripped out of my chest!…but I just kept it going and still do today. I totally agree, if you love what you do, you will keep at it until you receive that ‘yes’. “Focus on excellence, the success will follow in time.”
Excellent article bro!
Hey Milan, I remember you telling the stories of your rejections and the amazing thing is you continued and forged ahead regardless. It’s so great to see how far you come, a published book, second on the way, amazing works of art created by you and your wife, I am totally in awe! 🙂
Thanks bro, it’s intersting how such creative efforts are praised. According to historical records, creativity was a way of like back in the day and was encouraged from a young age. Today many have to shed the conditioning they’ve received when growing up before they hit that creative spark. It’s a sad fact of living in a global community driven forward by the herd mentality established by previous generations. I’m hoping to expand on this fact with my latest book. Bhumi also appreciates yr comment and says thank you.
Well the solution is living by example and you and Bhumi epitomise that totally! 🙂
Hey! interesting read, as of all i have faced many rejections as well in life. in a way i’ve come to believe that rejection is a part of life, but i think somehow rejection makes us better people in alot of ways… and i have learned alot about myself through these rejections… 🙂
Hey R, great to hear from you, what did you learn or take away from those rejections? 🙂
Hey Amit, what I took away from these rejections were I’m not perfect and that I also to have my imperfections and to cpme into acceptance with it all, but i still think i am in a process of learning about myself more and more through getting rejected. It can be daunting, but it takes alot of courage to still carry on in your path regardless of getting rejections. Humour also helps occassionally in dealing with rejections. 🙂 Inner strength and determination and gratitude has helped me alot to.
Humour definitely helps…it’s where I get some of my comedy material from! 😉
I’m completely new to your website, so I’m taking my time browsing through the different articles by reading your bio 1st 😀
I can totally relate to this article btw – I’ve had more than my fair share of rejections from job applications, auditions, even volunteering opportunities! When I asked for feedback, they usually say that “due to the large number of applications/auditions received, we cannot provide individual feedback.”
What a load of b******s! If we don’t get feedback, then how are we supposed to know where we went wrong?
But it’s interesting how you’ve turned this round into a positive goal…. And I love your parting words, “the best revenge is success.” No wonder they say, revenge is sweet 😉 x
Hey Skittles, indeed on both counts. All we can do is learn from it and try again with minor tweaks for the next time but also remember that each rejection just makes that next acceptance all that much more sweeter! 🙂
Shakespeare wrote thousands of poems and balads, how many of them you know? Edison made thousand of patents as well as Einstein. How many of them do you know? I would say everyone has to get through failure and rejection. And this is great way how to handle it. Another good idea how to learn how to handle rejection is through sales… More unlikely way but really durable one
Thank you so much for your contribution interesting to hear more about others in prominence who got rejected.