I often get asked by elders, “Amit, you’re 32 now; you’re getting old; shouldn’t you get married now and settle down?” Anyone else out there who gets asked the same question as me?
Personally, I’m not a fan of the term “settling down” because it says something to me which I don’t agree with. Many people assume that as you get older you’re supposed to slow down, do less in life and accept the physical limitations of old age.
Because of the nature of our physical bodies, I agree that eventually I won’t be able to do as much, but that doesn’t mean that I cannot continue to push myself and try new things.
I maybe 32 years old but I certainly don’t think of myself as a 30-something. I don’t feel the need the rush to get married, have kids, get a secure 9-to-5 and generally follow the status-quo. I believe we’re here to do more than just that.
Please do not misunderstand me. I’m not knocking those life choices or equating marriage and kids to settling down but I do think many people see it that way. They think that marriage and kids is the closure of chapter of life and the beginning of sacrifice and a pot belly.
Naturally, kids and marriage will add an extra dimension to your life and so it may appear at first that your options become more limited. Look at it objectively though and ask what new doors has it opened?
Has it given your greater leverage to succeed? Has it introduced you to people you may otherwise not have met? So you can see it all depends on how you choose to perceive it.
Something I hope for the future of my life is that I don’t give up growing, learning, adapting, changing, and experimenting. I choose to feel like each day has the potential to be a new chapter and lead to something totally fun and exciting.
Two years ago I had not even a clue that I’d be doing radio, comedy and now be an doing extras work for films and appearing in adverts. It’s all because I decided that settling was not an option for me.
I could so easily have looked upon any of these opportunities and thought: “Nah…this isn’t for me, I’m getting on a bit, I should grow up and take life a bit more seriously!”
The last time someone mentioned to me about settling down I immediately said to them no, I don’t want to settle down, I want to speed up.
I want to see just how far I can go in life! Who knows, I may not get anywhere! How will I ever know if I don’t try? As much as I love life right now accept where I am I won’t accept where I can be. That is only limited by my desires and the decisions I make.
Amit, don’t settle. It is also biologically ordained.
This is a superb article; every thought connects and seems consistent.
Thank you so much for the comments. If you’re on facebook feel free to add me. There are many other comments from other readers there too.
Have a lovely day!
I love this article. I dislike the term settling down too, almost has a negative implication for me.
It’s so true, who wants to just settle, I for one, definitely do not! I think every new door, every new journey, every new opportunity is just another reason to increase and enjoy life even further!
I feel exactly the same way about settling down, I do want to someday yes, but i just want to find out who i am, really enjoy my single life, and do lots of different things before i settle down, and learn more about me and what i want from life. the rest i believe will flow nicely in good time! 🙂 🙂