How To Bounce Back When Life Bitch-Slaps You (Several Times!)
I’m going to come right out and say it that 2010 has been probably the most challenging year of my life.
Despite everything I’ve still somehow managed to bounce back. Even though this article is a ‘how to’ there is no magic pill to bounce back other than to just get up and try again.
It started when my mum became sick in India after being taken ill. It took a huge amount of resources and over a month to repatriate her. As soon as I got news of her illness I flew straight out and went to look after her. The experience of being in a strange country without any support was incredibly stressful.
After returning I spoke to my doctors to find out that I’d have to make a life altering decision about my own health
Next, I got made redundant from my job.
Then, just a few weeks ago, I had the biggest setback to the launch of my media career which really knocked me for six.
Finally, just last week, I injured my back and I suffered, what I believe to be, a double slipped disc. I have slipped a disc before and had sciatica as a result but this was much worse than anything I have ever experienced.
Anyone who’s had it before will know that it is one of the most painful, non lethal, injuries that you can have. I’ve heard that people who have this condition often have to go on Morphine to control the pain. I chose to avoid any form of pain control.
It’s been 8 days and today is the first day I can finally sit up for short periods and now walk. I can’t even to begin to describe the elation I felt this morning when I knew that I could stand up without being in agony.
I feel like I’m kind of gloating about these challenges, and in a way I am. These events have all defined who I am and contributed to who I choose to be. The intense life experiences have built my character and have added to my references.
I hope in some way they let people know I’m not just a a faker. I’ve been through some rough times and I’ve pulled through using every piece of knowledge and advice I’ve dished out to others. My life is a Petri dish of my knowledge.
During the phases where I was feeling down, or angry, or annoyed at all these events I opened up to people. I used to bottle all these things up but then I realised that was ultimately the worst thing anyone can do.
By talking to people about these events I learned a lot. I learned who the coaches are that have no idea and cannot tell the difference between people who genuinely need help and those who simply need to vent. By seeing that in others it opened my eyes to it too; to recognise the difference.
There are very few people out there who genuinely stop to listen. Most are over eager in offering suggestions of advice and help; and to those who just need to vent, there is nothing more frustrating! Those offers of help did nothing to help me bounce back.
Then there are also those who come out with pathetic statements like “you’ve attracted those experiences”…no shit Sherlock! That is the equivalent of saying “oh look, you have a face”.
The reason I’m covering this ground is a plea to coaches and those advice givers…really learn to listen to your subject. Before you jump in there with stupid remarks, how about asking some questions to find out more.
As I mentioned at the beginning there is no magic pill or cure to help you bounce back when bad stuff happens. It is just a choice, pure and simple. You can choose to stay down for the count or to get back up and take as many blows to the chin as it takes to succeed.
If you fall down twice, stand-up three times. Keep the kind of friends that remind you of that. Don’t waste time with friends who would let you stay down. They aren’t your friends.