Internalizing Vs Externalizing

Thoughts are running through our heads constantly on a daily basis. We never stop thinking and we never will stop thinking. We tend to focus our thoughts in two very general areas: We either focus on something internal to us, about our lives or things happening to us; or, we tend to focus on whats going on in the world and with other people who surround our lives. That is, those who internalize or those who externalise.

Bringing balance to our thinking is essential for our own well being and feeling a sense of peace.

Lets look at the internalizing vs externalizing more closely

Externalization (Exos)

People who externalize their thoughts more are always thinking about outer things rather then focusing on themselves. They will tend to do more for others and put their life on the back burner. They will feel for others and others suffering much more than their own. The problem is, for those who over externalize, they forget to take care of their own needs and often end up in a position where they are not happy because they spend all there time focusing on others and neglecting the important areas of their lives that need lots of attention and TLC. They also procrastinate more as they tend to get easily distracted when something interesting catches their eye.

They will hold doors open for others.

Internalization (Intos)

People who internalize more are always focused on their own needs and neglect those around them. When they get a problem and they have someone around them who will listen they will chew that persons ears off with their problems. There problems will be the entire world to them and when something goes wrong, their world literally stops. They easily forget that other people will be going through issues similar to them and they will concentrate solely on what is happening to them. Because they are highly self focussed they will also tend to be quite successful in whatever persuits they undertake.

They do not hold doors open for others.

As a partnership, the Intos and the Exos combined make good couples as they tend to balance each other out. My former partner, she was more Into, and I was more Exo and that worked well for us as we found that we balanced each others perceptions and this is why we had such a great relationship and why we still have an amazing friendship.

Neither is better or worse than the other but when it comes to propelling yourself to future success you need to attain a good balance of the two. If you’re too externally focused or over internally focused you tip the scales and put yourself out of balance. In order to bring back that balance you have to even out what you focus on. Here’s how you can do this.

Firstly, you need to ascertain which of the two sums up who you are? Ask someone close to you who you know will not intentionally hurt you with the answer. Find out who you are and accept it with grace and dignity. When you establish that, below are the shift in perceptions that you need in order to balance your scales.

Internal Perceptions For Those Who Are More Exos

We still need a level of external focus. External focus is good and gives us beauty, contrast, and variety. When looking upon the outside world. Remember first and foremost that all of it is a manifestation of oneself. You created the sky, the oceans, the buildings, the seven wonders etc. You are the creator of it all. Evey part of your being is interconnected with what you perceive to be “out there”. When dealing with people who you perceive to be external from you, remember that you are they and they are you. You are intimately connected to these individuals at all times. When focusing on someone and helping that soul, remember that you are also and always helping yourself too. Helping yourself is inescapable. In reality we live for ourselves only. You are solely responsible for your decisions and outcomes. You cannot be held responsible for others.

External Perceptions For Those Who Are More Intos

Whatever problems you are now having, become more aware that those issues do not solely affect you. The fastest way to overcome something you maybe going through is to help someone overcome similar that they may be going through. Give them love, give them compassion and know that by helping them you are ultimately helping yourself too. By helping others we facilitate our future success because the more you give the more you get back. Take a look at the outside world once in a while. Become more aware of what is happening in the world There is more to the world than the one that revolves just around you. The world does not end when something bad happens to you. When you have a problem step outside of yourself, be the outside oberserver and observe your usual reaction…what does it tell you?

Which one are you and can you relate to one of those two persona’s?