I’ve just returned from having a lovely holiday with friends, and for the first time in my life ended up doing a beach holiday.
Normally, I’m not one to sit and relax and soak up the sun; it’s not something that has ever appealed to me however, I was pleasantly surprised at how much I enjoyed myself.
Being a typical life coach, and not always able to switch off even probably when I should, I wondered what I could take away from that experience and pass on.
Then it occured to me that in all my years, I had yet to actually go swimming in the ocean. Lets just say, that coming from the ‘Jaws’ generation, it’s something that’s always scared me! :-O (Shark-bait woo ha-ha!)
I’m not a great swimmer, but I can swim a little. I’m also not great in the deep end of the pool, however, so long as I keep my cool, I can tread water happily for quite some time.
I’d never done that in the ocean though where you don’t have the comfort of grabbing onto the side of the pool during that split second when you panic.
I was absolutely determined to overcome that fear, and so I ventured out into the ocean. I went slowly at first, reaching the point where I could still reach the bottom with my feet. I continued; I went further and felt a few flashes of panic as I could no longer feel the bottom with my feet.
I reminded myself to stay calm, and as I did, instead of sinking, I would naturally float back to the top. I continued further and went as far as my swimming prowess would allow.
I’d done it! To prove to myself it wasn’t a fluke, the next day, I did the same again. I went as far out as I could and treaded water for about 30 minutes whilst meditating.
It was a wonderful feeling to no longer let that fear control me. You too, do not have to allow a fear to dominate your life.
If there is a fear that has been holding you back, then you should know that you don’t need to be it’s slave.
No matter what the fear; whether it be a fear of dogs; spiders; heights; public speaking; literally no matter what – there are two key ways to handle it.
You can either:
- Conquer it stage by stage as I did with swimming in the ocean. I took it really slowly and allowed to myself to get comfortable and then went a little further.
- You can go all out and just face it head on it one big swoop.
In this instance, the first method worked wonders for me. I eased my way into it and as i did it slowly, I began to realise just how little I had to fear. Of course, there is a real danger with something like swimming in an ocean, anything can happen. But it’s true of all areas of life.
We can choose to live in fear of everything, or we can confront the things that bring us the most fear until the illusion disolves and you are no longer at it’s mercy. The danger is real and will always exist, but you do not need to let it be your master.
So, whatever your fear try these following steps:
- Decide to just do it. Make a choice that you no longer want to be ruled or fuelled by by fear.
- Next, take the first steps to confront that fear in the most easy way possible. If you’re afraid of dogs, make friends with a few puppies, then build yourself up to larger dogs gradually.
- Keep your self talk active and keep reminding yourself to stay calm; that it’s all just an illusion and that you CAN do it.
- Keep moving forward. Once you’ve completed one stage, go to the next stage as quickly as possible. Try not to overthink it, just go for it and cross the next hurdle.
- Lastly, once you’ve done it, congratulate yourself and give someone else the same gift. Tell people what you did and maybe even help someone who has the same fear. Pay it forward!
There we have it – a very quick and simple guide on how to easily conquer any fear!