Why Flirting Is Good For The Soul

Flirting is good for the soul

Flirting partly originates from the word ‘Flueretuer’ meaning “to talk sweet nonsense. I absolutely love that definition and this is why flirting is good for the soul.

There are a few things in life that give me that me that extra bounce in my step: A huge pay rise; when a stranger pays me a compliment; knowing I’ve just survived a drive-by shooting…you know, the usual kind of stuff.

There is one thing I love doing that gives me that extra bounce and that’s having a good flirting session with a beautiful woman. Flirting is good for the soul and I encourage more people to do it regardless of whether you have a girlfriend, boyfriend, spouse or even if you’ve just started dating.

Why flirting is good for the soul

This probably goes against the mainstream narrative, but I stick with what I’m saying, because flirting is not sexualised conversation – it is a form of communication that innate to all of us, a lost art of being able to turn the most mundane of conversations, into the most uplifting interactions.

I’ve been in relationships before and I’ve continued to flirt with women. My intention is not to ‘pull’ or get the girl but I know that women enjoy the flirting just as much as I do and it’s just good fun!

Can flirting be harmless?

I’ve seen couples get jealous at one another for their spouse flirting. That’s never made sense to me.

Jealously is nothing other than a sign of distrust and insecurity. If you’re with your partner then a core part of that relationship is trust. If you feel you can’t trust them then maybe that relationship isn’t for you?!

As for insecurity, that’s a personal issue that you will have to deal with on your own. There have been times when I’ve dated good looking women and other men will stare at or even chat up the woman I’m with.

What do I have to worry about? As far as I’m concerned, absolutely nothing! She’s a grown woman and can make her own decisions about who she wants to be with. I am not her owner and she doesn’t belong to me.

If she meets someone who she feels she is better suited to then more power to them both. Why on earth would I ever want someone to feel obligated to me? I want some to choose me, not stay because they feel they have to.

For me, flirting and dating is all about having fun without the weight of any expectations of what it might lead to so flirting can be harmless.

It’s about being adventurous and having some playful banter. It’s about letting yourself go, telling stories, making other people laugh! It’s all about connecting with other people on a soul level.

Be honest with yourself though, are you doing it with ulterior motives? Or do you enjoy just as much as I do, putting a big smile on someones face.

Feeling Shy?

If you’re the kind of person who’s always been to shy to approach an attractive counterpart, then you need to alter your approach. From personal experience, I can say that the direct approach never works that well.

A playful encounter is always the best way to go. I’ll talk more later about ways you can do that but if you’ve felt uncomfortable and nervous then there is one cure plain and simple; practice! The more you do it, the more you’ve overcome it!

Flirting Tips

(All of these can be applied to both men and women!)

1. The most important tip is don’t take it all too seriously!

Don’t worry if you have the odd bad experience here or there. It’s happens. Just learn from it and move onto the next!

2. Girls love for the attention to be on them but it’s the way you do it.

The best way is teasing them and playfully making fun of them. I call it being cheekily charming. Again, from my experience, I’ve never found a better way of sparking some chemistry with a woman!

3. Speed dating is a great way to practice your flirting!

Back in my dating days I went to speed dates as often as I could and I’ve always had a fantastic time. The worst case scenario was usually I just made some really cool friends.

I went with some other guys who were good with women and I picked up some great techniques on keeping the conversation going and great conversation starters!

4. The direct approach vs being playful.

Whereby I go up to a woman and say “Hi, My name is Amit, what’s yours?” It’s never worked for me but I have seen other guys make it work for them. I think pick up lines are a better way to go so long as they’re not too cheesy or corny! The best approach by far though is either comment on something they’re wearing or doing, or, ask for a woman’s opinion on something!

5. If you approach the person while you’re nervous and sweaty

You’re going to feel self conscious about it! Try and give yourself a bit of composure time and then just go for it! Don’t wait too long though! I’ve done that on certain occasions and by the time I was ready they were already gone!

6. Learn to feel confident in walking away.

What I mean is if the conversation isn’t going well, don’t worry! Just say “it’s been a pleasure” then walk away! It’s not always going to work out perfectly so don’t expect it to.

7. Meeting up at a coffee shop is a great way to kick off a first date!

It’s a neutral place, there’s lots going on and you’re not spending too much money on a first date. It’s a great place to get to know each other and then start with the flirting! Toss in the odd innuendo, tease her, make fun of her, have a play fight, thumb wrestle, take some spark conversations cards pretty much anything goes so long as you’re both having fun!

8. Friends make great flirting buddies!

Flirt with your friends and get good by practising that way! Just by having fun other people get attracted to your company and want to be around you! Don’t play the part of the sad loser who has a miserable love life! Get over yourself and learn to have some fun!

9. Experiment with different approaches and see what works for you.

I actually find approaching a group better and easier than approaching an individual as you can have fun as a group and you don’t get as many awkward silences. Even if you with just one person and you have that moment of silence…don’t feel awkward by it.

Just let is pass naturally and you’ll both naturally find the next topic of conversation or something to break the ice again.

10. Don’t be afraid to make a fool out of yourself!

One night I was out and there was this group of girls who were out on a hen night. They were all wearing bunny ears! I went up to them and asked on of them if I could try on the bunny ears. I’m sure I looked like a total dork but it got them laughing and I had a great time!

If you want to take things to the next level and start dating then I recommend reading this.

I was walking to my car the other day and there was a really attractive woman walking in the same direction as me but she was ahead of me. I decided to pick up my pace to catch up to her. She was pulling along a huge empty suitcase and I decided that was going to be my way of breaking the ice. I pulled alongside her and I said “you got a dead body in there or something?” She laughed and smiled…I may later reveal one day what happened next! 😉

What’s your take on the subject, this is mine on why flirting is good for the soul ? Do you agree or totally disagree? Or can flirting lead to feelings?

Let me know in the comments below.

27 Responses

  1. Kartikey says:

    Yes, do reveal what happened next.
    Very well-written, Amit. I am using the direct approach.

    • Amit Sodha says:

      Thanks K! Maybe the reason I’m not revealing is because the story isn’t over yet! 😉

      Tell me a bit about your direct approach? How has it worked for you so far?


  2. amie sugat says:

    Awesome info, I really should learn how to flirt. I might have more success….

  3. Hi Amit,

    I just found this old post of yours on StumbleUpon! So SU really works:-)

    Happy flilrting.

    PS I have to keep this short as I am off to practice my flirting – watch this space!


  4. Rina says:

    Is there a term for this kind of flirting? Does anyone know? I truely believe that flirting to show appreciation towards others (letting someone know you find them physically attractive) without neccessarily encouraging sexual relations is very healthy…. but is there a term for this? Would be great to have a word to describe it… so that you could say : I’m a ______ist!

    • Amit Sodha says:

      Hey Rina,

      Perhaps we could collaborate and together come up with a term that does sum it up…

      How about FRIRTING – Short for friendly flirting….Or CHIRTING short for charming fliriting…

      Any ideas??

  5. Carly says:

    I agree. Flirting is very good for you and there is one simple way to deal with this conundrum: flirt with potential partners you find attractive if you feel like it. Try it. There is no harm in flirting. It is fun and good for the soul. And you can do it whether you are in a relationship or not. Flirting is magic! ;0)

  6. Kiran says:

    Excellent and a really good read! Some great tips too.

    Totally agree that flirting is just harmless fun. I’ve flirted whilst in and out of relationships and have also flirted with friends girlfriends. At the end of the day it’s a bit of banter and I know that’s all it is. Completely agree that if you’re partner is getting jealous then that’s an issue with the relationship and the trust that should be there perhaps isn’t . One thing I would say though is don’t forget to keep flirting with your partner too!!

    • Amit Sodha says:

      Hey Kiran,

      Lovely to hear from you and thanks for your comments. Very true and well spotted about flirting with your partner- indeed! It’s a bit of an art form and it’s something that can easily get lost through familiarity; but it doesn’t need too! 🙂

      May all your flirting adventures be awesome! 😀


  7. Shirli kang says:

    Enjoyed reading your articles…
    Having fun while flirting…
    Whenever I went to the shop to buy something even at the market…
    I am greeted with “hello lenglui” in Chinese that means “hello pretty”
    Even at my age…..being flirt by them makes the deal closed lol….
    Yes, ladies loved to flirt, too.
    So do your best and you will be hooked one fine day……have you, Amit???

    • Amit Sodha says:

      HAHA that’s awesome Shirli!

      I have been hooked up and blessed to have someone incredible so minimal flirting from me now but I still do occasionally! 😉

      All the best


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