Have you ever heard a piece of music and fallen in love with it straight away? However, as time went by, you fell out of love with the song just as quickly?
Have you ever heard a piece of music and not liked it straight away? However, as time passed the song grew on you, and then the song became one that you loved for life?
Do either of those sound familiar?
I was in a coffee shop speaking with a friend recently and this topic arose. It’s a subject which has been in the back of my mind for years but it’s something that I’ve never written about.
Take the same principle but now consider the music aspect just an analogy of many aspects of life including relationships and friendships. In those cases too the same rule has always applied in my life.
Any time I’ve met someone and we’ve hit it off straight away, the relationship has always fizzled just as quickly as it started. It’s something I touched on when I answered this question from a reader.
The contrary is also true. Any time I’ve met someone and the relationship has had a chance to develop over time, the relationship has always lasted.
In my case there are rare exceptions to the rule but that pretty much sums up my life as it is right now and the people around me.
This conversation was sparked when the friend and I were talking about relationships. She said to me that she’s been dating someone and that they’ve been on four dates. She really likes the person but has yet to feel the ‘spark’. She asked my advice on what she should do and my opinion was simple.
A relationship will not necessarily flourish just because the biological spark existed from the offset. In fact, now, my first reaction nowadays is to be slightly more cautious no matter how tempting it might be to go full throttle.
I said that the lack of the spark could also be a prelude to a wonderful relationship. A deeper connection that goes beyond the physical connection; beyond a chemical reaction to an external stimulus.
2011 proved to me several times that jumping in at the deep end was unwise.
So I said to my friend to give it time. I used my music analogy and she said that it made sense and felt right to her. It reminded her of something that her dad had said to her which was “in the past, marriage was a path to love. But now, love is a path to marriage.”
Look at your life, has this been the case with you and does it mean it will always be that way? No, it doesn’t have to mean that at all. All it means is that if you do find you have an instant spark with someone that it’s worth taking a slightly more conscious approach.
Taking a breath and not getting swept away with the current is actually the choice of someone who is wise and experienced. I’ve actually noticed older and wiser people who have done this with me. I never knew or understood the reason at the time but after recent events it made perfect sense to me.
It’s only an assumption but I’m sure it’s sound. I’m positive that they’ve been through similar experiences hence took a step back.
Going With The Current
Aren’t we supposed to go with the flow? Aren’t we supposed to be in the natural flow of life and let the current take us forward as is talked about in many Law of Attraction books?
The answer to that for me is very simple, no! We don’t always understand why the current is leading us where it is or why we happen to be in that particular river.
If you do not like where your current is taking you, you’ve been given the power make a different choice. You may already be in the wrong river and be looking for the one that is right for you. When you do find the right one that’s exactly when you can go with the flow.
The same applies with relationships. The journey is not always black and white. You don’t always know the real reason you’ve connected with a person. If you have an instant spark, you can afford to approach the relationship with patience.