5 Essential Communication Skills Everyone MUST Learn

As far as I’m concerned there are a few skills specifically that have transformed my life. These skills I feel in some way should be taught to us when we’re at a young age. These skills are increasing in demand and the demand is only likely to grow.

1. Flirting

In some way there is some undercurrent between all human interaction that involves wanting acceptance or love. Between two individuals of the same sex it’s more one of acceptance generally but when it comes to attracting a mate, whether that be of the opposite sex, or otherwise, there is much denial that attraction is large part of it.

This is why I feel it’s an area of life I think everyone should make an extra special effort to get good at. If you get good at flirting then that takes care of a huge chunk of your life in one swoop! Get a good understanding of what qualities are attractive to people. Also understand how to be cheekily charming or playfully flirtatious.

It’s an area that I feel that I feel holds people back. People who have trouble attracting a mate always seem to lack confidence and self worth. It’s a vicious cycle. When you adopt this skill and become good at it being in a relationship is no longer the be-all and end-all. You are totally comfortable in your skin as a single person and being in a relationship is not what defines you.

2. Comedy or Humour

Comedy is a vital skill. Laughter is always needed and I hate to state the obvious but life would be pretty dull without comedy. I was sitting on a bus the other day. While I was thinking about my stand-up comedy routines for some gigs I have coming up a little joke popped in my head and I burst out laughing. I was being stared at, but I didn’t care!

I’m not the funniest man alive but I do give people a giggle. If I fail to make people laugh I don’t get dis-heartened but most importantly I don’t give up. Have you ever been in a situation where you’re having a conversation with someone and they’re laughing at their own jokes and you’re wondering what the heck they’re laughing at? They’re laughing and laughter is contagious. You can laugh at the fact that they’re laughing at their own jokes!

Learn the ingredients of a good joke or learn some classic jokes and learn to tell them well. People are automatically attracted to people with a sense of humour so it makes sense to learn how to be funny. Self-deprecating humour is not included! Study some of the great comics. Watch their videos on YouTube and see what makes them tick.

3. Speaking

This is an area I’m still working on as it’s an area that can always be improved upon. At some stage in your life you will be called upon to speak to people. Do you really want to be erm’ing and uhhh’ing after every other word? People will get bored with you and your confidence will plummet!

I actually took up stand-up comedy to improve my speaking and although I’ve got a long way to go it’s helped me to no end! People won’t take note of your message unless you speak with confidence and authority. There is no magical transformational tool to do this…oh wait, there is…it’s called PRACTICE!

Have you ever thought something wonderful and then tried to articulate it and it comes out no where near as well as you thought in your head? Congruence comes from a combination of practice and confidence. People speak well until they’re told they’re speaking in front of a crowd. Think of yourself as speaking casually amongst friends.

4. Writing

There are very few professions that don’t involve writing in some form. Even if not the gift of writing can be utilized in countless number of ways. I know that my writing on this blog can be better but I also know that it’s improved by leaps and bounds from when I first started writing.

Conveying your thoughts on paper or screen in a creative way can open doors in any number of ways. Just look at successful bloggers who’ve made a career from writing. They’ve become so good that they quit their jobs and now do it full time. Writing is not only enjoyable but it can earn you good money!

Since the invention of keyboards my handwriting has become appalling so now I take the time to do some scribbling on paper. Not only does it carry a different kind of vibe to typing on a screen but it almost makes it feel like your whole body is getting involved. Just recently I got a hand written letter from someone. When was the last time you got or sent one?

5. Body

As they say in NLP that 55% of what you say comes from you body. Have you ever paid attention to the way you stand or walk? Or to what you do with you hands when you have a conversation with someone? Body language operates at a very sub conscious level in both it’s operation and interpretation

Mastering your body will go a long way to contributing towards points 1 -3. I was out with friends recently and we were messing around with trying to convey different expressions with our faces. It wasn’t easy and when you didn’t think about it, it just came naturally but when you thought about it, it made it harder.

Your body is an integrated system and is conveying so much more about you than you can imagine. When you learn to be in charge of it you will be able to create that magnetic personality that so many people strive for. Try it and see for yourself.

I so wish I was taught this kind of stuff at school. This sort of thing would’ve been much more interesting to me than reading a boring book. I was so disappointed to hear that Drama, as a subject in schools, may be eliminated as that’s where I learned most of my social skills.

Learn these skills well. They will take you far and replace many other skills that you think you need and contribute to powerful personality traits.

21 Responses

  1. Life Coach says:

    “I so wish I was taught this kind of stuff at school.”

    I so agree. If only it were thought in one way or another…

    I guess the greatest teacher of them all is still Experience. 🙂

  2. Amit Sodha says:

    Hey Matthew,

    Thanks for the comments which I always appreciate. Experience can’t be beaten! 😉


  3. Nice list. With these skills, I think you can get results in just about all the major areas of your life.

    I would add one more though: assertiveness 🙂

    • Amit Sodha says:

      Hey Eduard,

      Hmmm interesting. I never thought to include assertiveness but now that you mention it I think I could’ve included that under speaking. and mentioned it. Thanks for the tip! 🙂

  4. Amit, I agree so much that I wish everyone over the age of 12 could read this post. I wrote something similar not long ago, emphasizing that good writing and public speaking skills will set a person apart on the job and open up wonderful opportunities.

    It’s sad that so many people fear public speaking when–with some training–they could get good at it and come to enjoy it. I’ve been in Toastmasters for years and love the supportive environment it provides.
    .-= New at Madeleine Kolb’s blog ..Another Awesome Octogenarian =-.

    • Amit Sodha says:

      Hey Madeleine, thank you for commenting! It’s true isn’t it! It’s something that I like to deliver as a message to the young people I work with and will always promote. It’s amazing how huge the public speaking fear is to some people and they don’t realise that with a bit a regular practise it becomes easy, almost second nature.

  5. Anonymous says:

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